32 weeks pregnant:

One thing I’ve realized this pregnancy, more than the last, is how quickly things can change from day to day, both physically and mentally and in positive and negative ways. One day you can be sailing along thinking things aren’t going too badly at all and then the next day, for no apparent reason you hit what feels like rock bottom and there doesn’t seem an escape in sight. The good thing is that there usually is an escape, but it’s also important to speak to those close to you and let them know how you’re feeling as this can not only help you deal with your emotions but also avoid unnecessary conflict or misunderstanding. 

This last week has been one of those not so enjoyable weeks for me and I’m grateful for the support from my husband who is trying to appreciate and understand what I’m going through from the sidelines but in reality probably just wondering where his wife has gone and who has possessed her body this week. He said to me the other day “you seem to be struggling a lot more this pregnancy than you did with Denzel”…….it’s funny cause I often wonder if I am, or if we’ve both just forgotten in our memories how difficult it was 5 years ago or if it’s just a consequence of having a child to come home to after work instead of being able to come home and put my feet up and rest. 

The thing is that even though it’s tough being pregnant, working full time and then coming home to mother duties at the end of a long day, the best part of my day is coming home to my son’s voice, his never ending questions and his concern for the welfare of me and his sister…….even if he does want to jump all over me when I just need 5 minutes of silence and rest. One particular day I was struggling both physically and mentally after a long few days at work with lots of travel time involved and I sat on the recliner to try and ease my pain. Denzel was trying to climb up the back of the lounge and nearly tipped me off after I’d asked him repeatedly to stop climbing all over me and the lounge. Both his dad and I raised our voices at him (which is actually very rare in our house) and he got very upset. In a fleeting moment I went from being frustrated and annoyed to concerned and wanting to cuddle him and apologise for making him so upset. 

Ironically, he’s usually the only one who can make me feel better when I’m truly feeling down, just by asking “are you ok mummy” in his sweet little voice as he wraps his arms around me and gives my belly a kiss. So yes, I may be struggling more this pregnancy but on the whole I am grateful to have my 5 year old to come home to each night, to put things in perspective for me and show me why we put up with so much through this difficult journey. 8 weeks to go, surely I can make it now……….